Constant questions arouse when in the depths of paranoia. It tears me apart. The thoughts that linger leave a trail so vividly rich in emotion that the essence it leaves behind burns on long after the flame of doubt is extinguished.
The fake smile draws no attention to the underlay in which it hides. The sorrow-driven persona that strives to make things perfect, and fail all the while. Assumptions and presumptions are abundant in the mind, yet with a mindful cause but looked down upon by the outside world. Scrutinized around, but held to dearly inside. Expectations are a bane which comes upon in such unpredictable ways, though mostly in defeat of any hope.
Faith. A burden when in need, a blessing when available, a curse when in excess.
All I seek is comfort, but I find none in these turbulent times. Only sleep being the last resort to closing the chapter on such uncertain moments. Predicaments caused by the unending thinking of the mind, subduing the heart's content to the heights.
God, give me strength. Or forever will I not know of learning from mishaps and regrets.
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